I’ve been wanting to draw again: big charcoal portraits. This is the first one that is okay. I worry so much about not make illustrations when I’m drawing, and this is maybe that. I notice more ‘nice lines, and composition’ rather than ‘a person’.
I’m a bit frustrated with all my work, at the moment. I’m impatient, and it feels like I’m right at the start of everything. The abstract paintings are getting bigger, and are going somewhere, at least. I am looking forward to pushing my drawing. Moving away from line, which I feel very in control of, and trying really dig people out of that page. The carefulness, and tenderness that line can give, I don’t want to lose, but..
I mused today about how controlled my paintings and drawings are. Even in the paintings that start with stains, and thick messes, there are later placed bars and rectangles of single colours. I have a very ordered way of looking at images, that I think comes across most obviously in my videos. I worry about this, too, being too clean, and illustrative (though not in the