Monologue Six

I was worried about this one. At the time I was depressed, and felt completely incapable of doing anything, incapable even of thinking about doing anything (I wish I could articulate this better). But I had planned to make a video, just as I had planned to go in to the studio, and was able to do these things out of habit (I guess). Making it I worried about it seeming silly, and shallow, and one-dimensional. I think you see that frustration right away in the way my hands move. Unlike the others this is a series of actions which, again, is a product of that frustration. I cover myself, a throw clay at myself, then I want to bury myself in it. They all seemed so dumb to me, at the time. And the clay always makes my face look so sad! And here I look like a sulking cartoon baby at times. That clay, though! It was wetter than before, and such a lovely consistency!

It’s not the shallow thing I thought it would be, though. It’s sort of funny, too! And, as the videos are being presented all together, the individual piece is not so important: it’s about what it adds to the whole. And I think this adds depth.

I’m still thinking about the title/s. perhaps I’m leaning more toward something like ‘Ritual #’, or ‘Proposition for a Ritual #’; something referencing those aspects.

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